Macaulay Culkin to Play Barrett Brown in Biopic

It has been announced that Macaulay Culkin is to play the leading role in the new biopic of jailed American journalist Barret Brown, if he can borrow his dad's suit.  

The film which is to be shot this summer  has already been tipped to pick up a huge amount of Globes.

It has been revealed that Hollywood producers have been working on the Brown script since the 2012 arrest of the suave essayist.

"I don't know if this is real or just a hoax blog post," said studio executive Harley Margolis, "but I would say this.  Everyone should follow Free Barrett on Twitter and consider making a donation to Barrett's legal fund. Not only is Barrett indentured to Strafor forever, but he did it all for you.  In my eyes, he's a true American, the funniest writer I know, and I've heard he's a good tipper, also."

Working titles for the Barrett Brown movie have included The Barratty Kid, Lock Stock and No Smoking Barrett and Run LOL Run.

Barrett Brown was arrested in 2012 and charged with so-called 'internet threats', sharing a hyperlink, and directing aggressive lulz in the direction of his FBI persecutors.

The movie will cover Barrett Brown's life since he began investigating Team Themis and operation Romas/COIN and will feature Fozzie Bear as Aaron Barr, Charlton Heston as Robert Stacey McCain and obviously Jason Statham as Topiary.  

Sir Sidney Poitier and Harry Belfonte (both aged 88 this year) will have a zorbing race to decide who will play Judge Sam Lindsay.

It is is also hoped that the one ton latex, clay and foam puppet of Jabba the Hutt made by visual effects artist Phil Tippett, will be taken out of storage and used to play Sabu.  

Jabba the Hutt's body structure was based on that of an annelid worm, a hairless animal that has no spine or skeleton and is hermaphroditic. Jabba's head was modeled after that of a snake, complete with bulbous, slit-pupilled eyes and a mouth that opens wide enough to swallow an elephant's penis. Jabba the Hutt exemplifies lust, greed, and gluttony and the character is known throughout the Star Wars universe as a vile gangster and troll.  Like Jabba, Sabu is operated by three handlers, one who operates his right arm and mouth, another who reads his English dialogue and another who operates his head and tongue.

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1 comment:

  1. Boy, did you get the Jabba the Hutt part right! Knowing the culture like I do, or the hole in the center of it, I guess it is all downhill from here. Nobody will do service to this comic truth... Aww.